by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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