I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
