i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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