I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
