he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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