I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
