you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
