her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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