Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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