their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
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just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
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The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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