I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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