the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
