Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Even my vagina gasped.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
