we have officially lost it.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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