your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Boobs are out for the taking
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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