It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She's the barista slut.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
