I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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