I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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