I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
bring money and cleavage
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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