I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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