I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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