All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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