Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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