dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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