Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
