guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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