Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
