My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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