Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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