I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
