why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
