I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
