I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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