i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
