Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my being single is dangerous.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Text me some of your sweat
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