What did we do last night that was yellow?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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