Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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