You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
