sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
