She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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