Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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