if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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