mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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