Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
