how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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