thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
