He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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