What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
