he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
