My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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