im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
