When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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