I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
