For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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