Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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