Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
