I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
