I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
