I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
