yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
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I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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