go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
