Define "chronic" masturbator.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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