I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
