I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
